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S&M: A Beginner’s Guide

S&M: A Beginner's Guide

Whether your interests are deep-seeded or newly sparked by the 50 Shades craze, we can all have a bit of bondage in us, and it’s doesn’t all have to be dungeons and shackles. Easing in with your partner can be easy as long as there’s a solid foundation of trust (and maybe a good safe word), so let’s dip our toes in.

Dirty Talk

Rather than diving right in, talking dirty is a good way to test the waters and figure out if S&M is good for you. Start by asking questions like “What do you want to do to me?” “Where do you want me to touch you?” or “Do you like that?” By asking questions, it opens the door to getting a little dirtier and exploring each other, but without crossing any lines.



Taking turns with a blindfold is a fun exercise in trust and dominance – amp it up a level by asking questions, allowing you to explore your partner’s body and keep them guessing. Switch roles and see which of you likes being in charge (you’ll need it for the next part)


Cuffs & Restraints

Just like being blindfolded seems to relinquish control, being cuffed or tied up does it in a literal way. Once you’ve got your partner tied down, you can do anything from licking and biting to whipping and toys. Giving up control is at the foundation of S&M, whether you use your beginner’s furry handcuffs or go for more advanced restraints on the bed, door, or shower.



There’s an endless array of options when it comes to bondage & props made for S&M. Whips, crops, ticklers, paddles, gags, clamps and any other sex toy you may desire are all in play once you reach this stage, so find out what’s right for you both by experimenting. If you think you might give the pain-for-pleasure route a try, use a firm slap on the bottom here and there to see how you both like it, then maybe work up to a beginner’s whip. Some toys are made for teasing and foreplay, like ticklers, which work great when used with restraints and a blindfold, while other toys like whips & paddles can be used at any moment during your playtime to heighten pleasure or assert dominance.

Browse our full bondage section to see what tickles your fancy, or get started with our beginner's bondage selection!

Addie S
Addie S


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